Uz we lay in bed the other night,
The wife said she wuz cold,
Ar said, "l am, un'all -
It's 'cause wee'm gerrin' owd!"
She said,
"Before we got married,
Mom would give me a hug,
In bed we used ter
cuddle up, We wuz nice un' snug!"
"Mom would put 'er arms round me Un'
give me a goodnight kiss,
What aer'm tryin' ter say This is what ar
miss!"
Ar said, "Ar've got the message Ar know weer yow'm coming from!
Ar'l get me bike aert the shed — Un' goo un' fetch yer mom!"
A lady bought a paperback, Just the other day,
Hubby found it in 'er
bag,
It was "Fifty Shades Of Grey".
His wife started reading it,
So
hubby went ter bed,
When his wife came upstairs — The sight filled him
with dread!
In one hand she had handcuffs,
In the other hand, a whip,
She put them on the bed 'Un then began ter strip!
She wore stockings and
suspenders,
(Hubby started ter sweat),
She tied him to the bed un'
said,
"Yow ay sin nuthin', yet!"
Hubby thought , "Yeers agoo,
Ar
might 'uv' 'ad a peek,
But she ay weathered well at all — 'Er's
eighty-five next week!"
She made suggestive movements
(Sight couldn't
'uv' bin much grimmer), Things went from bad ter wUss — 'Er tumbled off 'er
zimmer!
She climbed back on her feet
A few minutes later,
Put 'er
teeth back in —
Un' said, "Aerm the dominator!"
Hubby 'ad another
peep,
Then he coughed un' spluttered, He spent a month in traction, The
last complaint he uttered!
Sorry, ar cor reveal no more
About what
occurred that day, Except ter say hubby's jet-black hair — Turned "Fifty
Shades of Grey"!
Videos of Trevor
reading some poems
Contents of this page reproduced with kind permission of Simon Archer from Bilston Magazine