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R.I.P.Trevor Johnson

Trevor Johnson

 I recently learned of the very sad passing of Trevor Johnson, Bilston's self-styled, Black Country Poet. Trevor was a great friend of the Bilston magazine and often contributed his hilarious poems, which I gladly included in the publication. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his lovely wife, Sheila and their family and friends at this difficult time. We thought Trevor would have liked us to share a couple of his poems. I hope you enjoy it. RIP Trev x

A Misunderstanding.

Uz we lay in bed the other night,
The wife said she wuz cold,
Ar said, "l am, un'all -
It's 'cause wee'm gerrin' owd!"
She said, "Before we got married,
Mom would give me a hug,
In bed we used ter cuddle up, We wuz nice un' snug!"
"Mom would put 'er arms round me Un' give me a goodnight kiss,
What aer'm tryin' ter say This is what ar miss!"
Ar said, "Ar've got the message Ar know weer yow'm coming from!
Ar'l get me bike aert the shed — Un' goo un' fetch yer mom!"

Fifty Shades of Grey

A lady bought a paperback, Just the other day,
Hubby found it in 'er bag,
It was "Fifty Shades Of Grey".
His wife started reading it,
So hubby went ter bed,
When his wife came upstairs — The sight filled him with dread!
In one hand she had handcuffs,
In the other hand, a whip, She put them on the bed 'Un then began ter strip!
She wore stockings and suspenders,
(Hubby started ter sweat),
She tied him to the bed un' said,
"Yow ay sin nuthin', yet!"
Hubby thought , "Yeers agoo,
Ar might 'uv' 'ad a peek,
But she ay weathered well at all — 'Er's eighty-five next week!"
She made suggestive movements
(Sight couldn't 'uv' bin much grimmer), Things went from bad ter wUss — 'Er tumbled off 'er zimmer!
She climbed back on her feet
A few minutes later,
Put 'er teeth back in —
Un' said, "Aerm the dominator!"
Hubby 'ad another peep,
Then he coughed un' spluttered, He spent a month in traction, The last complaint he uttered!
Sorry, ar cor reveal no more
About what occurred that day, Except ter say hubby's jet-black hair — Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey"!

Videos of Trevor reading some poems

Contents of this page reproduced with kind permission of Simon Archer from Bilston Magazine